Sad to report it was not a good day for B today. Maybe because yesterday was busy. Mary, Earl's daughter, and her husband, Danny, came to visit for a few days. So yesterday was full of catching up and a lot of what I call "on" time for BB. But she also napped much of the day.
Today she was pretty darn out of it, both mentally and physically, and it seems to me that her condition is getting worse pretty rapidly at this point. She wasn't recognizing Gunsmoke or Bonanza while they were on and kept asking when they would be coming be on. She became belligerent with me when I replaced her empty box of fudgesicles (complete with chocolate paw prints) with a new full one. She started yelling at me, in front of everybody mind you, for not telling her they were in the garage freezer this whole time, as if I had intentionally hidden them from her and purposefully ruined her whole night as she was up desperately trying to look for them. Good times this morning.
She was very confused in general all day and slept a lot. Stayed on the couch more than usual, and just like yesterday, had forgotten to use her walker every time she was up. She needed that walker badly today, her physical condition has become VERY weak. I don't know if it is a result of recovering from the mini seizure last weekend, or because we have company in the house, or if it is just the Alzheimer's disease running its cruel course. But regardless, it's been damn startling to me to see just how weak she was today, I had to come to terms, once again, with the truth and fidelity of mortality. She can barely get up off the couch right now, and walking has become painfully tedious. She shuffled around the house for a half an hour with only one shoe on, and the other in her hand. When made aware of this fact she grumbled that she knew exactly what she was doing and needed no help, this was purposeful one shoe walking and... "just what are you staring at?!!!" There were a few times today that I was sure she was about to fall right over. I was on her heels with the walker all day, and eventually, after a full day's observation and walker following, asked her if she was tired. She said that she was more tired than she's ever been before in her whole life but didn't know why because she has been taking so many naps. She was so frustrated and confused and couldn't figure out why she felt this way. It made me realize that, realistically speaking, there aren't so many days left for her walking around and being mobile. She is just becoming too weak.
Update: insomnia strikes my being once more, the night stalker haunts the halls yet again, shuffling feet and strained breathing beating heavy like a dervish on slo-mo. She has been fiddling around loudly between the closet outside my room here and the bathroom for the last hour. It is now 1:45 in the morning. Just another day in the life.
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